Are you kind to yourself?  We have more patience and kindness towards complete strangers than we have for ourselves.

“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.”
Henry James

We are own Worst Enemies!

Think about it –  would you speak to other people the way that you speak to yourself? Would you criticize your nearest and dearest the way your criticize yourself?

The truth is that we are masters at beating ourselves up with a big stick, pulling ourselves down, cringing when we look in the mirror and telling ourselves we are not good enough.  We also spend far too much time comparing ourselves unfavourably to other people or worrying about what they think about us.  

Would you tell your friends that they have an extra wrinkle or grey hair like you do to yourself when you look at yourself in the mirror each morning?

Imagine that your friend, has had an awful day at work. a terrible day. Or maybe they are suffering with anxiety or depression?  What would you do?

Like many of us, you would take the time to listen and try and cheer them up.  You would probably also give them some soothing and encouraging words and find ways to make them feel a little better. 

How would you Treat Yourself?

How would you react if it was you suffering from anxiety or depression?  Would you be as kind, supportive and caring? Probably not!

Here are some suggestions on ways to start being kind to yourself.

  1. Treat yourself like you would a five year old child. Give yourself compassion and encouragement. Feeling scared about something? Soothe yourself and tell yourself you will be ok .
  2. Being kind to yourself means allowing yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling at that moment. Instead of judging your emotions or trying to ignore them or ‘ push them down’   give yourself permission to experience them, without judging yourself. We all mess up and make mistakes so be kind to yourself by finding forgiveness within yourself – it is what makes us human.
  3. Learning to be kind to yourself includes prioritizing your own needs.   When was the last time you took time out for yourself?   When was the last time you made yourself and your emotional wellbeing a priority?
  4. If you make a mistake or have a bad day – learn to support yourself.  Give up getting angry and frustrated at yourself and treat yourself with compassion instead.
  5. We all mess up and make mistakes so be kind to yourself by finding forgiveness within yourself – it is what makes us human.

Award Winning Confidence Expert

Northants Confidence Coach and Life Coach Lisa Phillips is an award winning authority on Confidence, self esteem and emotional wellbeing.   Formally based in Sydney Australia,  Lisa is also the author of ‘The Confidence Coach’ book.   Her work as a Professional Life Coach is regular featured in the media.   

Lisa is also the current Confidence expert on

To contact Lisa or to have her speak at your event, please see

Lisa provides face to face coaching around Northamptonshire, Peterborough and Leicestershire.  She also provides online coaching around the world.  Please also check out her range of Online Life Coaching courses.

Lisa Phillips, Qualified Life Coach