Ok, this blog may be a bit harsh. Are you a victim?
When working with my Life Coaching clients, I do find that even the very suggestion of the word ‘Victim’ can cause a lot of defensiveness!
What is a Victim?
Victim playing is blaming other people for your life, refusing to change and generally feeling like a victim! Victims often complain about their life but refuse to do anything about it. They fail to take responsibility for their own life. It is always other peoples fault! A victim often has a ‘ poor me‘ story that they like to share with everyone they meet. Be honest with yourself – Is this you? Are you a victim?
Are you failing to take responsibility for your own Life?
I know we don’t like to admit it, but there are many of us out there failing to take responsibility for our own lives. We blame others for our finances, happiness, relationships or the situations we find ourselves in. In doing this, we feel powerless and disempowered.
Where in your life are you pointing the blame at other people for your current circumstances?
I had a friend years ago who always blamed other people for the lack of money in his life.
It didn’t matter what job he was in or how much he earned, it was always somebody else’s fault that he wasn’t abundant enough. What made things worse was the fact he became jealous of anyone else who had more money than him and also expected others to lend him cash or treat him to dinner and drinks.
Who is responsible at the end of the day?
Can you see in this example how this person was not taking responsibility for his finances preferring to be the victim?
At the end of the day, nobody is coming to save us and we do need to step up, take action and be responsible. We need to let go of the ‘ poor me’ story in order to feel better and make improvements in our lives. For those of us who are stuck in victim hood, this becomes even more difficult we have decided we are rather fond of the ‘ poor me’ story! In some way, we gain something from falling to take responsibility for our own problems. This could be we still get to blame our parents for our lack of confidence, financial maturity or poor relationship skills.
However, your ‘ poor me’ story does not serve you. It keeps you stuck in a cycle of self – pity, blame and resentment.
You are an adult now which means it is time to start to take responsibility for all of your life. People may have let you down and treated you badly in the past – but are you really happy to give these people the power to ruin your life now and in the future?
Life Coaching, Corby, Northants.
With over 20 years experience, Lisa Phillips is an award winning Life Coach and Confidence Expert. Lisa is also the author of ‘ The Confidence Coach’ book. Lisa has won several awards for her leading edge work in Life Coaching. She is currently the Life Coaching expert on The Love Destination and is a highly popular guest speaker.
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