If you feel you have hurt someone, let someone down, made an error in judgement, shouted at the kids or simply forgot a friends birthday – How do you treat yourself?
Like most people, you will beat yourself up, criticise yourself and make lots of apologies for your perceived ‘ bad’ behaviour. If you are used to being chastised when you are growing up, or in your opinion, you feel your mistake was unforgiveable, you will probably feel embarrassed or ashamed of yourself.
Our Shameful Secrets
Feeling ashamed of yourself is toxic. Many of us carry toxic shame or shameful secrets hidden away in our body. If we still feel ashamed of ourselves for things that happened months or years ago, we may still be punishing ourselves while depriving ourselves of the wellbeing we deserve. We keep our shameful secrets pushed and hidden away in our bodies and believe we are a ‘ bad person’.
The Shadow Process
I remember attending Debbie Fords Shadow Process in San Diego. This was a week long workshop. During one of the sessions, we were asked to dress up as our personal shameful secret – the one thing in life we felt most ashamed of.
What an amazing night this was! People came together sharing their shame. Some dressed up as the grim reaper, others admitted they had cheated on their partner, had an abortion or stolen something. Even Debbie and the other facilitators on the course stood up to admit their shame which ranged from physically hurting people to picking their nose!
At the end of the session, real authentic peace and honesty prevailed. Our shameful secrets and toxic embarrassment of ourselves had been set free. It no longer had any power over ourselves or anybody in or life. This exercise also led to great healing. We all realised that everyone holds themselves hostages with shameful secrets that we keep hidden away in our minds and bodies. We also realised that we are human and everyone makes mistakes!
There is never any need to feel ashamed of yourself
What if today you gave yourself permission to forgive yourself and let go of your shameful secret? What if you realised that everyone has stuffed up at one time and it is all ok? What if you gave yourself the gift of setting your shameful secret free and let go of the need to feel ashamed of who you are or what you have done?
Letting go of Feeling Ashamed
Today, please choose to release yourself from feeling ashamed of yourself and your shameful secrets. You do deserve your own forgiveness I promise! It doesn’t matter what you feel you may have done, it is time for you to love yourself enough to let it go. Start by having the courage to write down what you feel ashamed of and then burn it safely.
While doing this, ask yourself ( or someone else) for forgiveness. Don’t forget that the universe has already forgiven you! Let this forgiveness flow into your heart and body and let it go. Remember, we are always doing the best that we can in any situation and that also goes for when you made your mistake. Don’t beat yourself up with hindsight – you were doing the best that you could with the emotions and resources that you had at that time.
Life Coaching Northamptonshire.
Although award winning Life Coach Lisa Phillips is based in Northamptonshire, she offers Life Coaching, Career Coaching, Confidence Coaching and relationship coaching via Skype across the world. The award winning Life Coaching expert has over 20 years experience and is also a trained counsellor. Lisa is the author of The Confidence Coach book. She also offers Wellness Workshops and is a highly popular guest speaker.
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