When my Life Coaching clients ask me what they can do to become more confident, my simple ( and rather annoying) answer is :

Stop Talking about your Lack of Confidence and Stop Thinking about your Lack of confidence!

It is really that simple!

Actually, this  is most important thing you must do to become a more Confident person.

Your Thoughts Create Your Reality

Your mind and your thoughts are powerful.  Whatever you continue to think, believe and feel, you will continue to experience.   Therefore, if you have been believing that you lack confidence for many years, or if you chat to your friends of family about having no confidence,  you are simply creating a future life lacking confidence!

In addition, you just keep wishing that you had more confidence – guess what, you will always just be wishing that you had more confidence!  Nothing will change and Confidence will always seem out of your reach.

So…What can I do if I lack confidence?

Every topic, including your lack confidence has an opposite emotion.   It is like every emotion is a stick with two opposing sides.  Therefore, if you want to build confidence, you need to focus on what it would be like to be confident, and start believing you will be confident.

It all start with Focus

It all starts with a little focus of your thoughts.    This includes consciously choosing to focus your thoughts in a way that gives you relief from your strong dominant believe that you lack confidence.     This is as simple as finding a few soothing and encouraging words.

Try these simple phrases to stop asking ‘ what can I do if I lack confidence’

  • I would like to think it is possible for me to increase my confidence
  • It is getting easier for me to build confidence
  • I am really looking forward to feeling more confident

This simple change of focus will have your thoughts building momentum into confidence, rather than the lack of it.

It is a great place to start.

Confidence Coaching with the author of ‘The Confidence Coach’ Book.

Northants based Confidence Coach  Lisa Phillips is an authority on all things confidence and self esteem related. Her work regularly features on TV.

The award winning Confidence Coach and Life Coach has over 20 years experience.  She is currently the Confidence Coaching expert on The Love Destination TV Series.