Let’s be honest, life has its ups and downs. However, the amount of happiness (and achievement of your desires) you experience has a lot to do with how you personally handle life’s downturns and how much you care about how you feel.

Many of us, who may lack resilience skills, find that our emotions feel like having a feather inside of us. In this I mean that life tends to knock us around emotionally, depending on the conditions we are experiencing around us. It is all very well when life is going well, but when things knock you around, it is like the feather gets blown around in the wind taking your emotions on a roller coaster ride.

‘Downturns’ in life are inevitable, but you can make a choice not to hang out as a feather and instead, choose to have a rock inside of you. In this I mean that you can remain positive, stable and grounded, regardless of the conditions around you.

What end of the stick are you holding?

When Life coaching or public speaking, I use the adage of ‘What end of the stick are you holding’. I came across this while attending an Abraham Hicks cruise earlier last year.

Think about it, when life has an unexpected turn, what end of the stick do you grab onto? Is it the end of the stick that represents negative emotions such as frustration, anger, hopelessness or despair? Or do you care enough about how you feel to reach for the positive end of the stick which represents encouragement, comfort, releasing resistance and ultimately a feeling of wellbeing?

There are always two ways to look at any situation. However, there really is only one question you need to ask yourself – are you choosing the end of the stick that will feel good to you, or the end of the stick that will only bring more negative momentum?

The key is that you need to care more about how you feel and use soothing and encouraging words that help you reach for better feelings and head towards the positive end of the stick.

Caring about how you feel.

Think about it.  How much effort do you put into caring about how you feel? How regularly do you take the time to check in with your emotions?  How often do you deliberately choose to do things that feel good to you or take the time to focus on improving the way you feel?

This sounds so simple doesn’t it – but most of us don’t pay enough attention to our feelings and we literally don’t pay attention nor do we care about how we feel.  As a result, we have just got used to feeling bad most of the time.  Feeling bad has become our Dominant emotion.

The truth is that wellbeing is our natural state and if you really want to have a happy fulfilling life, you need to care more about how you feel.  In doing this, you will care enough about yourself and your wellbeing, to care about experiencing positive emotions and moving from feeling ‘bad’ into ‘feeling good’.

You need to choose to feel good.