Coping with Rejection
Rejection is part of life. Whenever we reach out to someone, apply for a new job or go on a date, there is always the risk that we may be rejected.
So, if rejection is a normal part of life, how can we stop ourselves from feeling pain when rejection happens to us? How do we get better at coping with rejection?
It isn’t rejection that matters – it is what we make it mean about ourselves.
Case Study 1
Emma was a Life Coaching client of mine who had been in a relationship with John for 6 months. However, the relationship had not been going smoothly and John finally ended the relationship. Emma was inconsolable. She felt that it was all her fault and she should have tried harder to make the relationship work. She also felt that she was unwanted and unlovable.
The issue with Emma’s response to rejection is that she made it mean that she was unlovable and unwanted. It wasn’t the rejection that was causing her pain, more of what she made rejection mean about her.
Case Study 2
Peter had been dating Amanda for 12 months. However, Amanda ended the relationship as she just wanted to be single for a while. Although initially upset, Peter accepted Amanda’s decision and looked forward to meeting someone who was more committed to him.
Peter didn’t make Amanda’s rejection mean anything bad about him. He merely accepted it for what it was.
What do you make rejection mean about you?
If a friend doesn’t call, you don’t get the job you want or your relationship breaks up – what do you make this mean about you? Do you feel rejected? Do you make it mean that you are not good enough or a failure?
Think about it – It really isn’t the rejection that hurts, it is what we make it mean about ourselves.
Coping with Rejection
To cope better with rejection, try not to make it mean anything negative about yourself! Look for ways to soothe yourself instead. Remember, rejection is just the universes protection! Try these idea for coping with rejection:
- Accept that this is just part of the bigger theme in life and something better is coming along soon
- Create positive interpretations such as ‘ I got a lucky escape’ or ‘ Life organised this so I was free to move onto something better’. It really doesn’t matter what positive interpretation you make as long as it makes you feel better!
- Be careful not to mind read – people have their own lives and if someone doesn’t call or forget your birthday it doesn’t necessarily mean rejection, it just means they are busy!
If you have trouble with coping with rejection, why not give Northants based award winning Life Coach Lisa Phillips a call? Lisa works with clients all over the world helping them feel good and release negative emotions such as low self esteem, confidence and anxiety. Lisa is also the author of The Confidence Coach book. To find out more please see www.amazingcoaching.co.uk. or www.howtoempoweryourstaff.co.uk