It never ceases to amaze me how many people believe that they are not attractive or ‘not desirable’ to the opposite sex in some way.
In my Life Coaching sessions, I see this negative belief holding people back from dating and waiting for someone to ” approve’ of the way they look before they can feel good about themselves.
How we see ourselves
Many of us see the way we look or our body shape as falling short in some way. We compare ourselves unfavourably to other people and believe that we are ‘ less than’ other people due to the way we look. We also are critical of our own look or body believing that it holds us back in some way. In addition, we believe that other people see us in the same critical light as we see ourselves.
When helping my clients heal from this negative belief, several areas may need to healed including:
- Old negative programming about what a healthy body or beauty really is
- Distorted view of how people really see you
- Healing old wounds using inner child therapy.
Lets focus today on our distorted view of how people see you.
How we believe people view us
If you have been ‘ shamed’ for how you look, criticised for your eating habits or compared to others as a child, the chances are, you believe that there is something wrong with the way you look, If this happened to you as a child, you would have believed this information to be 100% true. As a result, you will believe that everyone views you in the same critical light.
For example, if you felt that your parents looked at the way you looked with disdain, you will believe everyone looks at your with disdain. Or if you had parents who were critical of your weight, you assume that everyone you meet will also be critical of your weight or the way you look. Even now as an adult, you will not believe you are attractive, even if you are told this you are beautiful every day by healthy people in your life! You will just reject their kind words as deep down you think it isn’t true. You simply do not believe that you are attractive.
But what if you could start to believe that people see you in a positive light? What if you could recognise that just because a few people viewed you in this way, ( note, it is their projection anyway!) does not make it mean that EVERYONE sees you in this way? How wonderful would it feel if you could change your perception of how people see you? How different would you feel if you could start to believe that other people see you as beautiful, attractive and love the way you look?
When working with my Life Coaching clients, we often use a simple ‘ Sheep Pen Meditation‘ to assist with this process. The idea of this meditation is to change your perception of how people REALLY see you. In turn, this meditation helps with healing your inner child.
Northampton Life Coach
Currently based in Corby Northants, Lisa Phillips is an award winning Life Coach and Confidence Expert with over 22 years experience. Her work appears regularly in the media and she is also the author of ‘ The Confidence Coach’.
Lisa is also the Life Coaching expert on The Love Destination TV.
Lisa provides face to face, group coaching sessions and Online Coaching. Please contact Lisa today for a no obligation chat.