The idea of feeling ‘ Not good enough‘ is one of the most common negative beliefs that we have as a human race. If only I had a dollar for every time I had helped someone with this belief during my Life Coaching sessions!
Deep down down, in the depth of our minds, most of us feel that in some way, that we are just not good enough. This can be ‘ feeling not good enough’ in general, or just not good enough at finances, relationships, losing weight etc.
How does Feeling Not Good Enough manifest in our lives?
Many of us fear this Shadow belief or ‘ wound’ so deeply that we spend our lives suppressing it and covering it up. For example, we may become a workaholic, perfectionist or be constantly on the look out for that illusive tick of approval from other people. We try to cover up this wound and keep it hidden from other people. Most of the time, we do this unconsciously. However, covering up this belief, does not heal it. It just covers it up for a short amount of time like sticking a sticky plaster over a painful wound.
Others sadly just accept that this negative belief is 100% true. As a result we believe we are fatally flawed in some way. We may fail to embrace life fully or keep ourselves small. We may feel that other people are just better than us in some way!
Why do so many of us feel we are not good enough?
When we are small children, our brain literally acts like a sponge or unformatted disk. We don’t have a filter in our brain until we are around 12 years old. As a result, we can’t distinguish between what is true, a joke or a lie.
As a result, we literally believe everything we hear. Ok, we may not directly hear the statement ‘ you are not good enough’ but we listen carefully to everything that is said around us and we can MAKE IT MEAN we are not good enough.
An example from a Life Coaching Client.
Joanne was a client of mine who felt not good enough. Her older brother always excelled at his school work and as a child, she was always encouraged to do well at school. However, she never met her parents high expectations. As a result, she made this mean, she was not good enough.
There are literally thousands of reasons why you may feel not good enough. Everyone is different and will have their own personal reason for feeling this way.
It is a False Belief.
The more you feel not good enough, the more this becomes your dominant feeling. The more the neuropathways in your brain get developed to feel like this. They also develop a chemical addition which is why it can be hard for some people to change this belief. One of the common errors people make when trying to change this belief is to change it through positive thinking. Yes, you can do it this way but it will take years! The quickest and most effective way to heal this wound is through inner child work. This simple, warm and simple process will heal this belief at its deepest level.
Contact me for Help.
If you would like to feel free of this negative belief, and get back to the real authentic you – knowing you are good enough, why not contact me for a no-obligation chat?
Although I am currently based in Northamptonshire, I provide my Life Coach services all over the world. In particular, I work with lots of Australian clients after being based in Sydney, Australia for over 20 years.
Please don’t put up with feeling not good enough, you do deserve to feel better.
With over 21 years experience as a counsellor, award winning TV Life Coach and Confidence expert, Lisa Phillips is also the author of ‘ The Confidence Coach’ book. To find out more about Lisa’s work as a leading life coach, please see www.amazingcoaching.co.uk.