Sadly, so many adults feel unlovable. This negative belief may have been formed in our early years when we fail to get the love we deserve or don’t have our love mirrored back to us from our family and friends.
As a result, many of us have labelled ourselves as being unlovable.
As a child, we may endlessly try to get our parents to show us love and give us the love we truly desire. We were born to love and feel lovable. Therefore it can be very damaging to a child when this love does not seem to be returned. However, many parents were not shown this love themselves and are simply unable to give us the love that we deserve. How can you make others feel lovable if you haven’t received this gift of love yourself?
We may also decide to ‘ give up’ on being loved or just believe that it is not possible for us to be loved in the way we really want to. We may decide that nobody loves us or don’t trust that anyone will want or choose to give us love.
Unlovable as a Belief
Unless the belief is healed from childhood, it will continue to be regurgitated in our life as adults. Feeding this little treasure into the photocopier will almost guarantee that you attract situations and people in your life who act out in ‘unloving’ ways towards you. Just like when you are a child, you will continue to feel that nobody is interested in loving you or love just won’t happen for you. It is as if illusive love is just out of your reach.
Self Fulfilling Prophecy
One of my Life Coaching clients, Helen, got trapped on the self-fulfilling unlovable merry go round. As a child, she was informed that she wasn’t good enough and she often felt deprived of love.
As an adult, her partner often planted the seed in her mind what a rotten person she was and how ‘lucky’ she was to have him. As a result of this, she stayed firmly rooted in a toxic marriage for over twenty years as she was wholeheartedly convinced that no other man would even contemplate buying her dinner, never mind falling in love with her. The negative belief of being ‘ unlovable’ just kept being copied in her life over and over again. No wonder Helen could not just leave her partner, she was running on her old programming.
The truth is that all children and adults are lovable. We all deserve to feel loved and to have people in our life that are forthcoming with love towards us. Just because some people are not able to give us love, does not mean that there are millions of others who are capable of loving us and importantly, really want to love us! They choose us to love!
Life Coaching Northamptonshire.
In my Life Coaching practice, I assist my clients to open up to receiving the love that they deserve. I also help them dismantle beliefs that love cannot happen for them or ‘ there is no point’ in reaching out for love.
I use inner child therapy to assist with this which is very easy to do and transformational. Once your damaged inner child believes in love, so will the adult.
If you would like to find out more, why not contact me for a no-obligation chat? Life Coaching sessions can be taken in my office in Northamptonshire or via Zoom.