Feeling uncomfortable emotions means we are changing! Often, we experience feeling uncomfortable when we implement a new habit or let go of old behaviours. This incudes stopping being people pleaser, being more assertive or making our own self care a priority. Change often brings up uncomfortable feelings but it is a good thing I promise!
You may feel strong emotions in your Body
Uncomfortable feelings may rise up the surface shortly after you have spoken up, plucked up the courage to say ‘no’ to another person, or even when you have left work on time. You may also feel uncomfortable if you have simply chosen to do what works or feels right for you.
It is important to be aware of these uncomfortable feelings. If you listen to them too much, they can trip you up, fooling you into believing that it is an indicator that you have done something wrong and you need to go back to old behaviours. Be careful not to pay too much attention to it, because it will keep you stuck in old negative behaviours and prevent you from embedding and living your new positive habits.
The Uncomfortable Feeling does not mean you are Wrong
This uncomfortable feeling — whether it fills you with guilt or anxiety, or causes you to label yourself a bad person is a perfectly normal reaction to change.
In actual fact, this uncomfortable emotion is actually a good indicator that you are changing into a more confident person and healthy change is in progress!
‘I finally stood up to my mum, informing her that I would no longer be able to come round to see her every day. It felt great for a few days … until I started to feel guilty and beat myself up. As a result, I just went back to my old ways of running around after her on a daily basis because it just felt easier.’ Emma 42
You are changing old negative habits of behaviour
Remember, at first you will feel different, and experience feeling uncomfortable, as you change old habits and programming you may have had for a lifetime.
What makes this emotion so darn tricky is that the majority of us tend to see it as a sign that something is wrong and that we need to do something to fix it. We may use it as an excuse to beat ourselves up and doubt our decisions or actions. This in turn may make us feel that it is easier to release this feeling by going back to old and more comfortable and familiar ways of behaviour.
Guilt can also lead us to feel uncomfortable. Most of us feel guilty at some point in our lives. Healthy guilt is an emotional indicator that we have acted against our own values or convictions.
However, unhealthy guilt may raise its ugly head after we step into a new confident behaviour, eating away at our good intentions and positive mindset. Too many of us see guilt as a reason to keep ourselves stuck, make amends or go back to our people-pleasing behaviours.
Feeling Uncomfortable is a Positive Sign of Change
The feeling of discomfort is an indicator that can either propel you forward into confidence, or keep you stuck in old behaviour patterns.
Choose to interpret it as a sign that you are moving away from old programming and into new-found confidence! If this uncomfortable feeling grows particularly strong within you, please work through it as best as you can.
Top Tips to Work Through Feeling Uncomfortable.
- Recognize that this is a normal feeling — it is nothing to fear.
- Learn to soothe yourself with a simple statement such as, ‘I know it may not feel like it right now, but everything is working out okay for me.’
- Look at the uncomfortable feeling with a positive mindset; the truth is it means that you are doing a detox of old familiar patterns and building up your confidence.
- If the uncomfortable feeling gets really strong, go for a walk or pick up the phone and chat to someone who will encourage you through it until the feeling passes.
Lisa Phillips, Northamptonshire Life Coach and Confidence Expert
Formally based in Sydney, Australia, Lisa Phillips is an award winning Life Coach and Confidence expert. Lisa has over 20 years experience. She is the expert Confidence Coach on The Love Destination TV and the author of ‘ The Confidence Coach’ book. ( Exile 2015). She is also a very popular mental health and wellness speaker.
Lisa provides Life Coaching sessions via Skype, face to face and also provides Group Life Coaching sessions in Corby, Northants. Why not contact Lisa today for a no obligation chat to see how she can help you?
Please also check out what her Life Coaching clients say about Lisa’s work!