In this weeks Amazing Coaching blog, I am going to share with you How to Educate Your Inner Child. This is part two of a three part series on how to VEP your inner child. Part one is How to Validate your Inner Child
Before you attempt to educate your inner child, it is key that you take the time to connect with your inner child. This is the first step of the process so your inner child learns to trust you. Only when you have built a connection should you move into validating then onto educating your inner child.
Why you need to Educate your Inner Child
Remember as a child when you believed in Santa Claus? You would have carried on believing Santa came down your Chimney until someone told you that your belief was not true.
It is the same for many of the childhood negative beliefs that you learned to believe about yourself. As a child you are just like a sponge, You will literally soak in what you hear from other people and believe it is true. If you were lucky enough to be born into a family where you were programmed with lots of positive beliefs then your inner child would believe lots of positive things about itself.
However, if you grew up feeling criticised, not good enough, not listened too or left out, then your inner child will continue to believe these negative beliefs are true. All of us have negative beliefs about ourselves. These beliefs become anxiety, our depression and our pain. When these beliefs are triggered, we can act like a child, lose our temper and overreact. The negative beliefs become our ‘ hot button triggers’.
How to Educate your Inner Child
Lets use the example of feeling NOT HEARD. This is a very common belief. This stems from not feeling heard, listened too or important as a child. Children who feel not heard become adults who feel not heard. This hot button will continue to trigger you whenever you assume someone is not listening to you!
I suggest the following steps:
- Connect with your inner child
- Validate their feelings. eg. I understand why you are upset, I understand that it feels panful when you don’t feel heard, You are right to feel unheard, I understand that doesn’t feel good.
- Now move into your Inner Adult. You inner adult is the wise, calm part of you that is ‘ grown up’ and wise.
- Educate your inner child by explaining that you are listening to them, that you want to hear what they have to say and they are really important to you. Tell your inner child that although they didn’t feel heard as a child, that was not their fault. Remind them that they deserve to be heard.
- Keep educating your inner child for a few minutes. If you are struggling to find the words, think about what you would tell your own children or young relatives if they told you that they didn’t feel heard.
As award winning Life Coach, I have been helping my clients with Inner Child Therapy for over 15 years. My clients have amazing results when they work with me. Inner Child therapy will heal your triggers, calm your anxiety and heal old negative beliefs. It heals the core belief which is often ignored during talking therapies.
Inner Child Coaching with Lisa Phillips
Previously based in Sydney, Australia, Lisa Phillips returned to her home in Northamptonshire in 2019. She works with clients in the Northamptonshire are and also provides Skype and Zoom Life Coaching.
Lisa has over 23 years international experience. She is a fully qualified Life Coach, Counsellor, NLP Master and Law of Attraction Life Coach. Her work appears regularly in the media and she is the author of ‘ The Confidence Coach‘ book.
Why not contact Lisa today for a no-obligation chat?