A blog by award winning Confidence Coach and Motivational Speaker, Lisa Phillips.
We are human beings and it is natural to feel negative from time to time . However, it is fair to say that on occasion, many of us often struggle to feel positive in any area of our lives!.
Many of you will know that I recently re-located from Australia to Northamptonshire, UK. I was born in Northants and it is great to be back. To coincide with my move back to the UK, I also recently launched a new workshop titled ‘How to be a more positive and confident person’. This is a brand new workshop and I recently spoke on this very topic for Celebrity Cruise Line with very positive results!
Glass Half Empty?
Before I continue, I would like to point out that even if you are a ‘glass half empty’ type of person who may often feel negative, this should never be a reason to beat yourself up or be critical towards yourself. To be perfectly honest, the reason I teach this subject is to help people feel good and feel more positive – even if they do feel negative.
Dominant feelings of negativity come from deep within us. These dominant feels are often as a result of learned thinking patterns based on old negative beliefs . Many of these we formed during our childhood. The may include:
- Nothing goes right for me
- Too good to be true
- Things are never easy
- It won’t work out to my advantage
- Something always goes wrong
- It’s not easy being me…..
These old beliefs lead to negative thoughts and then lead to negative expectations of life in general.
You see, negative experiences are often the outcome of :
- Poor expectations of life, success, joy, happiness
- Expecting things to go wrong
- Expecting life to be a struggle or difficult
- Expecting things to not go well
Unfortunately, life then becomes a self fulfilling prophecy as negative beliefs, lead to negative thoughts, lead to negative expectations and then finally negative outcomes! And then we wonder why we feel negative! It is when we keep experiencing the negative outcomes that we get to exclaim even more that ‘Things never go right for me’ and ‘there is no point changing things‘
However, getting to be right and expecting negative outcomes robs us of our joy and wellbeing! It also doesn’t feel good and prevents us from moving forward and becoming confident and empowered. We just get stuck repeating the same outdated negative patterns. ( and complaining about them!)
You can change easily to be more positive.
The good news is that if you do want to become a more positive person – you just need to learn how to let go of your old dominant emotions and replace them with new expectations, beliefs and thoughts. This process is all about focus. It is about learning ways to care more about how you feel, and focusing your thoughts in a way that feel good to you. It is not about forcing yourself to feel positive either, it is about learning to focus yourself into a new ‘ good feeling’ place by using your emotional guidance scale.
Lisa Phillips is a UK Life Coach , Confidence Coach and Guest Speaker based in Northamptonshire. She is also author of ‘The Confidence Coach’ book. The award winning Life Coach has over 20 years experience. For more information, please see www.amazingcoaching.co.uk or contact Lisa at [email protected]
Lisa Phillips also provides online coaching and career coaching.