Do you often feel let down by others, feel unsupported or that nobody has your back?

If so, this may be a  familiar ‘ rinse and repeat’ feeling for you in that you are just not used to getting your needs met.

Getting your needs met by others

During childhood, ideally we should have a caregiver who fulfils and is attuned to our human needs.  These needs include the following:

  1. Feeling loved
  2. Getting adequate support
  3. Someone you can rely on to be there for you
  4. Feeling appreciated
  5. Feeling approved of

Ideally, the caretaker should be attuned  to our needs and forthcoming in ‘ giving’ these needs to us.  As a result, the child expects to have its needs met.

Your Expectations of getting your needs met.

Often, parents are busy, can be dismissive or just fail to adequality meet the child’s needs.  As a result, the child no longer expects other people to meet their needs.   This can cause people to become fiercely independent as they literally   “give up”, expecting these all important needs to met by other people.

Our unmet needs

As a result of these unmet needs, this expectation carries on into adulthood.  The adult becomes distrusting of other peoples intentions and just simply accepts that their needs will not be met by other people.  This can particularly cause issues in intimate relationships,

Allowing ourselves to be cared for

Allowing and expecting our needs to be met by others is a key part of self care and self love.  Just think about it,  isn’t allowing yourself to be cared for, supported and looked after the ultimate self love?  Could you allow yourself to accept and expect this from other people?

It is often difficult for some people to expect that they can trust other people to meet their needs.  This is understandable as they have had a life time of the opposite!

Inner Child therapy is an excellent methodology to heal the this wound and teaches both the adult and the child that it is safe to accept and receive care from other people.

To find out more,  why not contact me for a no-obligation chat.

Lisa Phillips award winning Life Coach

Currently based in Corby, Northamptonshire,  Lisa Phillips has over 25 years experience as an award winning Life Coach and Confidence coach.   Lisa is also the author of ‘The Confidence Coach‘ book and has won several international awards for her leading edge techniques,