Identifying Your Relationship Needs

Have you ever stopped and thought about your Relationship needs?  I mean the things which are important for you to receive and feel  in your relationships?   Relationship needs  are important for us to stay healthy and empowered in relationships.   As a Life and Confidence coach, I often assist my clients to both identify and look after their relationship needs!

If we don’t identify and then honour these needs, we will often find that we ‘ give away ourselves‘ in relationships and end up focussing more on other peoples needs than our own relationship needs.  Then we feel resentful, unloved and unappreciated.   Honouring our own needs leads to self respect, self care and good boundaries.

What are some of the basic relationship needs?

Everyone is different but there are some basic relationship needs which I have highlighted below:

  1. Mutual reciprocal love
  2. No ambiguity
  3. The right to a relationship where you feel love and it meets your needs and expectations
  4. Feeling wanted, secure and respected
  5. Safe and secure in love
  6. Treated with love, kindness, respect and trust
  7. To give and receive attention
  8. Affection
  9. Listen and be heard
  10. Intimacy
  11. Honesty, loyalty, consistency
  12. To feel like you matter
  13. To disagree without being punished
  14. To not have feelings discounted or undermined
  15. Emotional support and Validation
  16. Share feelings that are important
  17. Love and connection, attachment, approval
  18. Companion ship, belonging
  19. Fairness and equality
  20. To feel seen

Attending to your own relationship needs leads you to healthy authentic relationships.   Having needs is not selfish, weak, or dependent.  You have the right to take care of your own needs and importantly, not push them to the side. Learning to recognise and attending to your needs is all part of self love and self care. .

So today, take some time to identify your own relationship needs.  Ask yourself,

What are my needs? What are my personal prerequisites for happiness?

Do you need more understanding, support or  fun? More or Less time together?  Less stress? More honesty?

Once you’ve started discovering what your needs are, check in with yourself often. Are your needs being met right now? If not, how can you make that happen?

Northants Life Coach, Confidence Expert and Media personality Lisa Phillips has over 18 years experience assisting people to feel good, increase their self esteem and grow their confidence.  She is the author of ‘ The Confidence Coach’ book and is a popular wellbeing speaker.  To find out more about Lisa’s work in the UK,  please see or 

Northants Motivational Speaker

Life Coach, Confidence Coach and Motivational Speaker