Reciprocal love is both being able to give and receive love fully. In a relationship where love is reciprocated, each partner feels safe to express their own needs and the relationship is beneficial to both parties. Feelings and effort are equally balanced and reciprocated.
A common issue that I come across in my coaching sessions is clients are very comfortable with giving love, but may find it difficult to actually receive or believe they can have reciprocal love.
Early blockages to receiving reciprocal love.
Our early family relationships have a huge impact on an adults ability to expect and receive reciprocal love from others. As children, we give love freely to our friends and family. Children are literally balls of love and crave a sense of connection and belonging. Ideally, this love should be reciprocated from a caregiver as love and affection are essential to a child’s healthy brain development. This love should be consistent, unconditional and forthcoming. When this happens, the child is able to trust that love is forthcoming and always available for them.
How a parent responds to a child teaches the child lessons about love and how they expect people to respond to them.
When love is not reciprocated
If a child’s love is not reciprocated, the child learns not to trust love nor expect it will flow to them freely. This may lead to negative beliefs such as:
- Nobody loves me
- Nobody chooses to love me
- Love is not reciprocated
- I cannot trust love to be there for me.
An adult who did not receive reciprical love may be constantly searching for that illusive connection with a partner while believing that it is not realy available for them. The adult may become apt at giving love but the process of receiving reciprical love is not familiar.
The Truth about Receiving Reciprical Love
The truth is that all of us deserive to both give and receive love fully. Just because an early caregiver was unable to give this to you, does not mean you are unworthy or not loveable. The ability of your caregiver to give you the love you want was their dysfunction not yours. We are all loveable.
Award Winning Life Coach
With over 23 years Internal experience, Lisa Phillips is an award wining Life Coach and Confidence Coach She is also the author of ‘ The Confidence Coach’. Her work appears regularly in the media and she is a popular and inspiring speaker.
Check out Lisa’s life coaching testimonials or contact her for a no-obligation chat.
Lisa is based in Corby, Northants but works with clients all over the world including Australia, Kuwait, Dubai and Qatar.
