Self Soothing

Learning to soothe yourself  with your feelings and thoughts is an important practice both for children and adults.   It helps you  feel more confident, release negative emotions and it  gives relief from fear. It also helps you move downstream from negative emotion, into positive emotion.   The art of self soothing is under rated but it is an important skill I use with my Life Coaching and Confidence Coaching clients.

Sadly, most of us were not taught from an early age the importance of self soothing.  When we are scared, worried or hurt, we turn on ourselves with harsh and critical words rather than giving ourselves the gift of soothing gentle encouragement.

What is Self Soothing?

If a young child ran to you feeling scared, hurt or nervous – what would you say to them? Would you shout at them or tell them off (like you do yourself)? Or would you choose some soothing words to ease their feelings and have them feeling  better?

Self soothing is simply choosing words which give you relief from the negative feelings you are experiencing.

Here are some other soothing phrases to try:

Even though it may not feel like it, things have a way of working out

I am doing my best 
I can let this go,  it is more important for me to feel good right now 
This will pass 
It’s ok, it will be ok, it will pass, I will be fine.

Remember, everyone is different so reach for the soothing words that feel good to you. This can take a bit of practice simply because you are more dominant in beating yourself up that being kind to yourself.  However, it can be done with a little focus and your body will thank you for it.

Lisa Phillips is an international award winning Northants based Motivational Speaker Life and Confidence Coach. She is also the author of ‘The Confidence Coach’ (Exile Publishing) Lisa is a highly popular wellness  speaker and cruise ship speaker.   She is also a regular in the Media.   For more information, please see

Why not check out Lisa’s wellness videos on The Love Destination TV?