Back in 2007, I attended two week long “Shadow Belief” workshops. These were held in the world renowned Omega Institute in New York and also in San Diego USA. Both were facilitated by Debbie Ford.
I have continued to use transformational Shadow belief work in my Life Coaching sessions. This is deep transformational work originally founded by Carl Jung. Shadow beliefs are unconscious beliefs that influence our entire lives, telling us what we can and can not do, and driving our behaviours.
What is our Shadow?
Our shadow is made up of all the parts of ourselves that we hide, deny, suppress, and don’t see in ourselves – both the positive and the negative. It is made up of all the aspects of ourselves that we reject out of shame, fear or disapproval. Shadow beliefs are the parts of us that we believe are unacceptable, will be met with disapproval by others, or that annoy, horrify or disgusts us about other people or ourselves.
We often choose to run away or ‘ hide’ our shadow and it can often cause us to self sabotage our dreams.
However, the truth is that our shadow is really our friend, inviting us to tell ourselves the real truth and come out of denial. Owning and discovering our shadow is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.
C. Jung said, “Our shadow is the person we would rather not be.”
Shadow Belief Examples:
- There is something wrong with me.
- I cannot trust anyone.
- I don’t deserve to have what I want.
- Love does not last.
- I am worthless.
- I am never going to be successful.
- Other people are better than me
- I am ugly
Owning our Shadow Beliefs
In order to own our entire greatness, we need to make peace with all our beliefs – not just the good ones. It is about allowing ourselves to feel the parts of us we believe are unacceptable. The fact is that in order to be whole, we need to love ALL our parts, not just the ones we believe are good or acceptable.
Identifying your Shadow Beliefs
Try this little exercise below to identify your own Shadow beliefs:
What three things do you love most about yourself?
For example – Generous, kind, clever , helpful etc
Now take these 3 beliefs and look at the opposite of them. For example – Mean, nasty, selfish, unkind
This is YOUR SHADOW and you are stating ‘‘ I am not that!’ These parts of emotions are your shadow that you believe are unacceptable about you or you would rather keep hidden from other people!
Healing your Shadow Beliefs
When we own and heal our shadow beliefs, it is key to make peace with these parts of you. A good way to start is to begin to look at the positives of your shadow beliefs.
For example, if selfish is one of your shadow beliefs – what are the positive of being selfish? How could you accept that being selfish is a part of you?
The truth is, there are actually so many benefits or positives of being selfish! These include:
- It helps you have good boundaries in place
- Being selfish helps you take good care of yourself
- Selfish means ‘ good self care’
- At times it is so important to be selfish, for example, when you are exhausted, need to say NO to someone or just honour your own needs and feelings.
In conclusion, the process of uncovering and making peace with our shadow beliefs doesn’t need to be difficult. Making peace with your shadow and owning all the ‘ parts of you’ can stop self sabotaging behaviours and help you step into the real authentic you.
Life Coach Corby Lisa Phillips
With over 22 years international experience, Lisa Phillips is an award winning Life Coach. Lisa also trained as a counsellor while living in Australia. She offers a range of coaching services to her clients including:
- Life Coaching
- Confidence Coaching
- Inner Child Coaching
- Law of attraction coaching.
Due to her expertise, Lisa’s work is frequently featured in the media. She is also the current confidence coaching expert on The Love Destination. Lisa authored the book ‘ The Confidence Coach‘ in 2015 and her book is recommended reading for several international self esteem initiatives.
If you would like Lisa to support you, help you heal your shadow beliefs or just find out a little more about Life Coaching with Lisa, please contact her for more information.
All coaching sessions can be taken face to face or via Skype or Zoom.