As someone who has been validating, educating and healing my inner child for over 23 years, I truly believe it is one of the most beautiful and transformation processes that you can learn to do.
As a leading international life coach, I have been offering inner child coaching to my clients for over 15 years. The processes that I use have developed over the years. More recently I have been using a process which I abbreviate to simply V.E.P.
This process involves firstly Validating our inner child, then moving into Educating ( or re-educating) our little one. Finally, we give our inner child the permission to go out and Play.
This is a three step process and I will covering Educating and Play in later blogs.
Validate your inner child
Our inner child may have never felt heard, seen or experienced their emotions being validated or acknowledged. Unsurprisingly, this can lead to our adult self being triggered when we don’t feel seen, heard or validated.
We have a human need to be heard and taken seriously. This may not happen during our childhood. In addition, we may not get our feelings mirrored back to us or acknowledged. It is so important to have our feelings mirrored back to us as it helps us feel that our emotions are real and understood. If this doesn’t happen, we don’t feel listened too, important or understood. We may also find it difficult to honour how we are actually feeling.
Healing your Inner Child
The first step of the VEP process ( after you have taken the time to connect with your inner child so that they trust you) is to validate your inner child’s feelings.
Let’s say something happens in your life where you feel hurt or criticised. You can validate your inner child by saying simple phrases such as:
‘ I understand how you feel’
‘I know – it hurts when you are criticised’
‘I get it, you have the right to feel hurt or upset’
‘I understand that this must feel really upsetting for you’
‘ It is ok, I totally understand why you feel like you do’
The key is to let your inner child feel that you understand and acknowledge how they feel. This process is not about ‘ trying to be positive’ or giving yourself a hard time for feeling how you do. It is totally about accepting how your inner child feels and really listening to them.
In doing this, your inner child will feel heard. This really is an important first step to healing your inner child.
Award Winning Life Coach and Inner Child Coach
Formally based in Sydney, Australia, Lisa Phillips is the author of ‘ The Confidence Coach’ book. ( Exile 2015). Lisa has won several international awards for her leading edge techniques. Now based in Northamptonshire, Lisa works with clients all over the world. Her work featured regularly in the media. Lisa is also a confidence TV presenter and cruise ship speaker.
For more information, please contact Lisa for a no-obligation chat.