I wish I had a pound for every time someone asked me “What is Wrong with ME!”
Speaking from my heart, there are not many of us on this planet who don’t think we have something wrong with us. In fact, many of us believe we have some type of fatal flaw! Deep down we wonder in our own minds ‘ What is wrong with me!’
This can range from a feeling of complete unworthiness, to disliking a part of our body or feeling somewhat ‘less than’ other people around us, whether it is at home, in our careers or in our friendships.
We all wear a Mask
The interesting thing is we stuff these feelings down, believing that we are the only one who has these negative beliefs! We feel terrified of people’s reactions and keep these parts hidden away in the back of our minds and body, hidden away in the dark. In fact, most of society is wandering around with these unhealed parts of us ‘pretending’ that we are ok and have it together. I don’t think I am yet to meet someone who doesn’t think they fall short in one area of their life at least!
It takes a rare person to peel off this mask and admit that in actual fact, they don’t have a very positive view of themselves. You would never believe it from the outside – as many of us are just ‘faking’ it, showing the world that tip of the iceberg of our personality – that is the small 10% of our personality which is actually on show to the world.
It is not just me!
In my Northamptonshire Life coaching practice, I am often delighted to get feedback such as ‘What a relief to know it is not just me who has these thought’s‘ or ‘I now realise that I am normal to feel like this and am excited about feeling better about myself’.
In my opinion, being honest and open about how we really feel and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is extremely attractive and courageous. It is also real integrity and evidence of connecting with the real self, rather than the false self. When we do this, we set ourselves free to heal and show a vulnerability that also gives other people permission to heal.
When I am working with all my Life Coaching clients, whether it is in person or in my online life coaching group, I feel so appreciative that I get to connect with them on this real authentic level. How great is it to be able to laugh with someone and let our greatest fears step into the light knowing that other people have also shared those same beliefs and fears?
Real authentic connection
Think about the last fantastic conversation or great connection you had with someone. Was it because they were showing you a little more than that 10%? In contrast, think of some of the connections you have had that didn’t feel good. Why didn’t they feel good? Was it because they didn’t feel real or did they feel fake?
We are energetic beings and if we are tuned into energy, we can feel the connection or dis-connection of a conversation.
The Truth will set you free
Several years ago while attending a workshop in New York with the great Debbie Ford we did a great exercise on the healing powers of ‘The truth will set you Free‘. In this exercise, Debbie and her team of facilitators stood up on the stage and shared their deepest fears and beliefs.
Wow! How powerful was this! I remember thinking at the time that this was such a great leveller of life realising that the Life Coach Guru I had admired for so long still had negative beliefs about herself that she was still healing!
In conclusion, too many of us are walking around in this fake 10% of life. Unfortunately, this doesn’t feel good. When you disconnect with yourself, you will often only attract those who are also disconnected.
Lisa Phillips, Founder of Amazing Coaching
Lisa Phillips is a UK based Life and Confidence Coach and Professional Speaker based in Northamptonshire. She is also author of ‘The Confidence Coach’ book. Lisa has over 22 years experience and is the current confidence expert on The Love Destination TV.
Why not contact Lisa today for a no – obligation chat?