Writing letters to your inner child is extremely healing. It also gives your beautiful inner child the opportunity to be heard and feel acknowledged for unprocessed pain.
Inside of us all is our own little wounded inner child. It is the part of you that feels hurt, trauma and pain from our childhood which has yet to be healed. We may try to justify our hurt as we get older using our more ‘ mature’ minds, but this will not heal the inner child.
There is no point trying to make changes or feeling positive in your mind only. Rationalising past behaviour in your mind does not help your inner child understand. In order to really heal yourself and make lasting change we must work with the inner child directly. Only then will you come into alignment with both your heart and your head. Inner Child coaching is extremely effective and I have been practising this at www.amazingcoaching.co.uk for over 20 years.
Composing a letter to your inner child.
Allowing yourself to write your true feelings down on paper removes them from the darkness of your mind, onto the light of the paper. It allows your wounds and pain to surface. More importantly, it allows you to ‘own’ and acknowledge your personal pain. Many of us never had our childhood wounds or feelings validated.
Writing letters to your inner child allows you to do this. It shows your inner child that you care and you are listening to them.
You do not have to send the letters!
Don’t panic we are not going to actually send any of the letters! This exercise is more about allowing your inner child to have it’s say and feel acknowledged. How much pain do you have from your childhood that has been stuffed down and pushed to the side? What would your inner child like to say to you?
How to Write a letter to your Inner Child.
a) There is a little child inside of you that feels all the pain from childhood as if it has happened yesterday. This includes not having your needs met, being criticized, abandoned or feeling ‘ not good enough‘. Everybody is different. However, if we don’t heal the child, these wounds follow us into adulthood.
Start by getting a sheet of paper and let your inner child have it’s say! If your child is angry, allow the words of anger to flow. If you child feels hurt, allow him or her to express their pain. Through your letter writing, allow your inner child to have it’s say. Don’t judge or try to rationalise anything, just let your inner child have its say!
b) You can also write a letter of forgiveness to your inner child. Tell them how sorry you are that they suffered and were hurt. Soothe them by explaining how wonderful they are, how much you love them and that you are going to protect them and take good care of them. Validate how they feel and encourage them to feel safe. Again, do not try to justify or make excuses for the way that you feel. Soothe, encourage and re-parent your little one.
c) Write a letter from your inner child to one of the people you believe may have passed on a negative belief to you.
Dear Mum / Dad / Sister / Teacher/ Husband / Wife etc.:
Thank you for the following negative beliefs ( just add your own negative beliefs)
• I am not good enough
• There is something wrong with me
• I must be a nice person and not upset anyone even if I am hurting
• I am worthless
I now realise that these beliefs are not true. In actual fact, they are your beliefs and were not mine to begin with. I now choose to give these back to you along with all the other negative comments you may have had about me.
( Your name)
d) After you have completed writing a letter to your inner child, don’t be surprised if you feel emotional. Connect with the child inside of you and tell them everything they always wanted to hear from family when they were growing up. Do they need to hear that it wasn’t their fault, that they are important and it is safe for them to speak up?
e) When you have finished with the letters, rip them up, bury them but most of all let them go. These actions are really symbolic so don’t underestimate their healing powers.
Would you like a FREE Copy of my e-book – ‘ 50 Ways to Soothe Your Inner Child‘? This handy little book contains 50 gentle phrases you can use to heal your inner child. Follow this link to download your copy – YES I would love a FREE copy of your ‘ 50 Ways to soothe your inner child’ book.
Life Coaching and Inner Child Coaching
Currently based in Northamptonshire, Life Coach and Confidence Coach Lisa Phillips works with clients all over the world. She has over 22 years experience and is also a trained counsellor. ( Australia).