If you make a mistake at work, shout at the kids , forget to call a friend or basically make an error of judgement in your life – how do you treat yourself?
If you are like 90% of people on the planet, you will beat yourself up, chastise yourself and make lots of apologies for your behaviour. If you deem the mistake to be a big one, you will probably never forgive yourself for it and may even keep it hidden, too ashamed to tell anyone.
Your Shameful Secret
Many of us carry shameful secrets hidden away in our body. We push them down as we feel we will be judged as a bad person. In my Life Coaching practice, it becomes obvious that many of us have been hiding our secrets and punishing ourselves for years.
I remember attending Debbie Fords Shadow Process in San Diego. This was a week long workshop. One one of the evening workshops, Debbie asked us to dress up as our shameful secret.
What an amazing night this was! For once, people came together sharing their shame. Some dressed up as the grim reaper, others admitted they had cheated on their partner, had an abortion or stolen something. Even Debbie and the other facilitators on the course stood up to admit their shame. This ranged from physically hurting people, having affairs to picking ones nose!
The Truth will set you Free
At the end of the session, peace prevailed. The truth had been set free and no longer had any power over anyone in the room. We all also realised that we are all the same, we all hold ourselves hostages with our shameful secrets that we hide away. We also realised that we are human and everyone makes mistakes!
What if today you gave yourself permission to forgive yourself and let go of your shameful secret? What if you realised that everyone has stuffed up at one time and it is all ok? What if you gave yourself the gift of setting your shameful secret free?
Forgive Yourself
I have found a good exercise for this is to have the courage to write down your shameful secret and then take the time to burn it. While doing this, ask yourself ( or someone else) for forgiveness. Remember, we are always doing the best that we can in any situation and that also goes for when you made your mistake. Don’t beat yourself up with hindsight – you were doing the best that you could with the emotions and resources that you had at that time.
Life is supposed to feel good to you!
Northamptonshire Life Coach
With 22 years international experience as a Leading Life Coach, Lisa Phillips works with clients all over the world. She is the author of ‘ The Confidence Coach’ book and her expertise is regularly featured in the media.
Lisa is the expert Life Coach on The Love Destination TV and a highly popular Guest Speaker.
Contact Lisa today for a no-obligation chat.
