So many of us fear upsetting other people.   We have been brought up to be ‘ good girls’ or that we should never do or say something that may upset other people.   However, this belief comes at a cost.

When we believe that it is not ok to upset people,  we fear speaking up,  telling our truth or honouring our own emotions.    We put up with toxic people, toxic situations and people who continue to violate us.   We stay in unhealthy situations feeling resentful and we fail to protect or keep ourselves safe.

When I was in a toxic relationship, I too had the belief that it was not ok to upset my partner.   As a result,  I allowed him to control me and bully me.      Ironically,  I felt it was ok to upset myself, but not upset him!

It is ok to upset people!

It is your right to speak up and say how you feel – even if it upsets someone.   It is your right to voice your opinion,  put a firm boundary in place, or say No to someone’s request,  even if it results in someone getting upset.

Remember,  if somebody chooses to get upset by you taking care of yourself,  that is their choice. They are responsible for the way they react – not you!

Upsetting others can be good Self Care.

Taking care of yourself is your responsibility.   You alone are responsible for taking care of yourself.  Therefore,  the fact is that sometimes, you need to upset other people in order to take care of yourself.

This also works both ways.   Other people also have the right to practice self care and how you react, is your responsibility.

Check out this Video from a recent speaker engagement on Princess Cruises about why it is ok to upset other people:

 

Lisa Phillips – Leading Life Coach

If you fear being authentic around other people or need some help in setting boundaries for yourself,  why not contact Lisa Phillips.   Lisa has over 22 years experience and is the author of ‘ The Confidence Coach’ book.

Lisa is currently the Confidence Coaching expert on The Love Destination TV.